HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY!!!!

So today we celebrated Zola's 2nd birthday without her. I was so excited to make a cake and to have a little celebration. I got it in my head that I would make a pale pink and zebra cake. How fitting to buy her the Zebra that goes to the Zoo we bought her for her birthday. It was the perfect plan!! Until the Zebra was NO WHERE TO BE FOUND!!!!! I am not kidding when I say we went EVERYWHERE looking for the zebra. After 20 stores we just wanted to find ANY ZEBRA. I kid you not it was like trying to find the arc of the covenant! Since when do stores not have zebra anything!! We were going out of our minds. It was completely absurd. I was beyond frustrated and devastated because her birthday was now ruined (in my dramatic mind). Finally we gave up and decided that in the morning (her actual birthday) we would go to the Zoo. We have a zoo pass and they are certain to have a plastic zebra there. So on her birthday morning we went to the zoo. Watched the adorable baby orangutan whom we love to go see. Tried to pretend we weren't sad that Zola wasn't there with us. Went to the gift shop and found acceptable zebras for the cake. Why not buy 2 since they are small and she's turning 2. So there you have it. Cake disaster complete. Went home, made the cake. It turned out adorable. Happy ending to a dramatic day right? Wrong...I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. All I wanted was for her to come running (carefully) down the stairs to see her birthday cake. To just destroy it and love every minute of it. And then of course I made it worse on myself by thinking about what her birthday was like in her orphanage..That it just passed on by without being special. No cake, no special dinner, no zebras. Then the tears were really falling. I just prayed all day that someone would at least pick her up and love her. Or find a reason to make her smile. Of course she doesn't know what she is missing. But I never want her to miss anything. I definitely never want to celebrate another one of her birthdays without her.  And I can't wait to see her smiling face when she turns 3.