The clock keeps ticking

So I haven't written anything since December. That's because there hasn't been anything to write about. Our plan on bringing home Z in Feb obviously didn't happen since it is now the middle of March. She still has not been transferred from Katana in eastern DRC to Kinshasa. To make a long/frustrating/heart breaking story short. Lets just say the ball was dropped. Epic Failure on so many levels. Papers were never filed for in November. The "30 day wait" after court never happened and turned into more of a 120 day wait. I can sit and point fingers and scream until I can't scream anymore. But it doesn't change the fact that our little girl isn't home. And no matter how much I screamed before it didn't seem to make anyone pay attention to the issue. So now we are all caught up. Hello and welcome to March.

We now have all her paperwork/documents/birth certificate in hand and are ready to file the i-600. The bad news is that the consulate has implemented new procedures and since our case got overlooked for months we are now stuck going through these new procedures. That involves a possible 3+ month wait and investigation of her case (and all others) before her visa is issued and she can leave DRC with us.  If we file the i-600 in the states the investigation will not happen until the i-600 is approved and sent to DRC. Or we can file i-600 in DRC and the investigation will start immediately. We have been told that this will cut off 4-6 weeks from the wait time. So after a lot of thought that is what we have chosen to do.

We have been traveling all over Europe for the past 2 months and so why not right?  I'm not sure how much worse it can get than it has already been to be honest. So we would rather be sitting in Congo with our daughter than having her grow up without us for another 3-6 months.  With her not in Kinshasa or at our agencies orphanage we do not get any of the benefits that the other families get and neither does she. I am tired of seeing all the other families enjoy countless pictures on facebook of their children and videos and Christmas and other gifts that people bring them. We are just done missing out on her life and not being with her. We are done feeling like she just gets forgotten about over and over again. So at least if we are in country we have some control about what is going on with her.   Bottom line is we get to have her in our arms.

So why hasn't she been moved to Kinshasa? Where do I even begin and who is telling the truth? I don't even  have the strength to tackle it. The blame gets passed back and forth and the story changes montly/weekly/daily/hourly. At first the blame was put on Sister Ephransie the nun who cares for her. Saying that she insists on moving to Kinshasa with her until we pick her up. She "insists" on meeting us. Then the story changes to the nun will let her go but needs to see a birth certificate and documents before she allows this. So it was at this point that the cat was out of the bag and we find out that our lawyer hadn't done anything since November and nobody noticed or cared (except us). Then we find out that she doesn't need a birth certificate to be transferred. But that didn't make anything happen. So then we got the documents months later and she still wasn't transferred. Last we heard our agency sent money for her to buy plane tickets and our lawyer sent one in response saying that she will be arriving in Kinshasa in 10 days.  I'm not sure how many days ago that was. At least 10 but who is counting besides us?

Colin and I will be flying to Kinshasa in 2 days (Monday) and have an appointment to file our i-600 on Wed. As of right now NOBODY knows what the crap is going on with the transfer. I have been asking for 4 days now and nothing has been done about it. Not shocking since I've been playing this ridiculous game for 5 months. All I can say is if our little girl is not there when we get there all hell is going to break loose. We will finally be there so the Ephransie excuse can't be used. What will they come up with next? Only time will tell.

Chaos in Eastern Congo

The M23 rebels in Eastern Congo decided to reek havoc once again. November 20th they launched an uprising against the government and took over Goma. This part of the country is rich in mineral resources and a constant battle for who gets to be in charge of it. Diamonds, copper, gold and coltan (a key component in the cell phones and other electronics we enjoy so much every day). The rebels spend their time killing innocent people and raping their women (rape is a weapon of war in the DRC). It is a devastating reality for the people in this country especially considering they are literally sitting on a gold mine of wealth. The Congo has been named "The Heart Of Darkness" and rightfully so. I'm not quite sure our little girl could be in a worse place. It's a shame considering how beautiful and how much potential this country has. From it's rain forests to its mountain gorillas. One day I really hope it will be at peace and we can take her back there. So on Thanksgiving we were notified that it was time to get Zola out of there. Her and 2 other children that are being adopted are still in Eastern Congo. The rebels had taken over Goma and the airports were shut down. Our agency has been trying every resource they can think of to get the kids out of there.  Everything from getting them in to Rwanda and flying them out of there.. to contacts with MONESCO at the UN. Unfortunately without the passports they can't leave the country. I haven't got any updates yet on the status of the transfer. But I did just read that they are reopening the airports. That is good news for getting Zola transferred to arms of love in Kinshasa where we will be picking her up. We have been assured that she is safe and since her orphanage in Katana is pretty much self sustaining she has been eating too. We're grateful for the outpouring of love, support, and prayers that people have offered with her in this dangerous area. When we have an update on her transfer we will be sure to let everyone know.

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY!!!!

So today we celebrated Zola's 2nd birthday without her. I was so excited to make a cake and to have a little celebration. I got it in my head that I would make a pale pink and zebra cake. How fitting to buy her the Zebra that goes to the Zoo we bought her for her birthday. It was the perfect plan!! Until the Zebra was NO WHERE TO BE FOUND!!!!! I am not kidding when I say we went EVERYWHERE looking for the zebra. After 20 stores we just wanted to find ANY ZEBRA. I kid you not it was like trying to find the arc of the covenant! Since when do stores not have zebra anything!! We were going out of our minds. It was completely absurd. I was beyond frustrated and devastated because her birthday was now ruined (in my dramatic mind). Finally we gave up and decided that in the morning (her actual birthday) we would go to the Zoo. We have a zoo pass and they are certain to have a plastic zebra there. So on her birthday morning we went to the zoo. Watched the adorable baby orangutan whom we love to go see. Tried to pretend we weren't sad that Zola wasn't there with us. Went to the gift shop and found acceptable zebras for the cake. Why not buy 2 since they are small and she's turning 2. So there you have it. Cake disaster complete. Went home, made the cake. It turned out adorable. Happy ending to a dramatic day right? Wrong...I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. All I wanted was for her to come running (carefully) down the stairs to see her birthday cake. To just destroy it and love every minute of it. And then of course I made it worse on myself by thinking about what her birthday was like in her orphanage..That it just passed on by without being special. No cake, no special dinner, no zebras. Then the tears were really falling. I just prayed all day that someone would at least pick her up and love her. Or find a reason to make her smile. Of course she doesn't know what she is missing. But I never want her to miss anything. I definitely never want to celebrate another one of her birthdays without her.  And I can't wait to see her smiling face when she turns 3.

ALL GROWN UP

Wish I could bring them all home!!

Zola and her posse

Love to see her in some styling shoes. Big improvement from last  time. 

Paul unlocks a smile 

When we accepted our referral we agreed to be in a pilot program. Zola's (Marie, Regine, you choose) adoption was going to take place in Bukavu until the last portion when she would be transferred to Kinshasha (the capital of DRC). We didn't care how it was handled as long as she got to come home. Her orphanage we have been told is the best they have seen in the DRC.  It is mostly self sustaining. They have a garden where they grow their food and really raise everything except for fish. So she is getting eggs daily and eating. What more can you want?! The orphanage is well kept and clean and pretty incredible. It has been inspiration for Wasatch (our agency) to buy and start their own orphanage/in between house until the children are picked up by their adoptive parents. This new orphanage is in Kinshasa and is called Arms Of Love. Zola will be transferred there towards the end of the adoption process. The hardest part for us with having her in Eastern Congo is that when all the other families in the process are getting loads of pictures and videos of their children, we aren't. When people are sending books and toys and clothes to their kids, we don't get to. It has actually been really really hard to miss out on the last 4 months of her life. And getting the group emails that there are loads of new pictures of the kids is heart breaking when you're told that of course your child isn't in them. Nobody can understand the value of a picture of their child until they are going through this  themselves. There are no words to describe how much that brightens your day and puts your heart at ease. Well miracles do happen. The day that Zola's case went to court Paul (our lawyer) went to her orphanage and took us some new pictures.  So the next morning I woke up to the best email EVER!! Pictures of our BIG girl!!! Finally a day of happy tears!!!! Apparently Zola's orphanage in Katana is not easy to access and it's way out of the way. So a huge thanks to Julia for pushing Paul to go and get us some new photos. It is the first time we have got to see a glimpse of a smile on her precious face. She looks healthy and is growing and we just adore her.

THE IN BETWEEN

I ran out of hangers so the rest is in bags

Nothing but adorable in there!

Yes she needed this Zoo. How else is she going to learn the animal names in Enlgish?

What do you do while you wait for that precious little gem to finally come home?  Well, you become an EXPERT at checking your email. Every time that icon comes flashing on your cell phone you're on it! Just to realize it's Bed Bath and Beyond reminding you that you have a 20% off a single item coupon waiting to be used. After months of this you decide to unsubscribe from every store you have ever shopped at. Just to find that the envelop icon NEVER visits you anymore. And the hope of some news was better than no news at all.  Then you realize that maybe those 20% off coupons are a blessing instead of a nuisance. You become an expert at shopping. Spend $50 at Gymboree and get $25 back in Gymbucks to use at another visit. Do you know how much I can get nowadays at Gymboree with $50. It's seriously impressive. Then you might wonder...What do you do as the months tick by and her entire closet is 2T-3T? You freak out a lot!! You size up every child you see. And try to estimate how much a child grows in the time that you last got the height and weight of yours. You want your child to be well fed and healthy....but this selfish side in you doesn't want them to grow any more before they are in your arms (ok and grown out of the adorable clothes in their closet they have never worn). In the past 12 months we have bought and remodeled our forever house. Just to come to the conclusion that forever sounds like an awfully long time without grandmas, grandpas and cousins for our little one. So what was good and OH SO WARM (best thing about AZ) for 2, Isn't the best for 3. So we're in the middle of closing on our house. Between a complete renovation, adoption, and moving...been more than busy.  Yet that cute little daughter of ours never leaves our mind. No matter how busy you get she is still too far away. Her adorable little empty room and closet that is soon to be packed up is my happy place. I love seeing her clothes hanging in there. And the dolls sitting on the shelf waiting to be destroyed. You worry about her being loved every day and pray your heart out more than you ever have in your life that she is safe, that someone makes her smile, and that she isn't hungry, and that she is healthy. Then you wake up the next morning missing her more than the day before and you just keep surviving and waiting, and SMILING because she is yours!!!

REFERRAL

June 22nd 2012

I was painting walls today in the house and my phone rings.  I didn’t answer it bc I didn’t recognize the number.  Well they left a voicemail.  So I called and listened to it.  And it was Cyndi saying “We think we have a referral for you!  Call me back”!  Not even 24 hours since we passed court and we had a referral!!!”  My heart was about to beat out of my chest.  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  So she said she would send pictures over.  She told me that our little girl was in an orphanage that they have never adopted from before in Katana.  She said she has a very prominent umbilical hernia and that Julia has seen her in person and says you look healthy and you’re a doll.  She also said her blood tests all came back negative for HIV and Hep B and c.  However the sickle cell test wasn’t there or wasn’t done.  So we won’t know about the sickle cell until you are in Kinshasa and can get it done. But if we aren’t concerned about those things then we can start the process.  I got Colin on the phone and out of my mind excited told him we were about to get our first pictures of her!! WE HAD A REFERRAL!  He was totally shocked and couldn’t believe it.  I told him I’d call when I got the email of pictures.  I think I hung up and was painting like a maniac!  I called my mom and told her I was about to get my first picture of her!  That was such a long wait for that email.  I glanced over at the laptop a trillion times checking to see if it had come yet.  Then Colin called and asked if I got it yet.  While on the phone with him it came!  He wasn’t at a computer so he let me open the email while I was with him.  The pictures took SOOOOOOO LONG to download. I was going CRAZY!  Then there she was!!!  Frowny faced and ADORABLE as can be. She looked so different in each picture and it is such a surreal moment to see your baby girl for the first time.  There was a picture at the bottom where she is stunningly beautiful with huge gorgeous eyes and a perfect little nose and ears.  And I was just IN LOVE.  I knew that she was just meant to be our little girl.  Colin was very emotional of course and we just had happy tears and couldn’t believe it.  Then the day went like a whirlwind.  I had to call EVERYONE and tell them all that WE HAVE A PICTURE!!!  Everyone just fell in love with her instantly.  I text messaged the rest of the family and friends that have been involved in the adoption and announced that we have a picture!  It was so unexpected and so perfect.  And she is so perfect and stunning. Her name at the orphanage is Regine Marie. Her nickname has been Zola since the home study. So now we just call her a little bit of everything. But it doesn't matter because WE ARE IN LOVE!!

HOME STUDY PROCESS

Feb. 23rd 2012 - June 21st 2012

All I can say is I have never checked the mail so much in my life. Getting a home study approved in Arizona is the longest process EVER.  16 weeks through the lovely court system waiting for a judge to sign your documents. My suggestion is choose another place to live. People say you definitely learn to be patient in times like these.  I don't think I learned to be patient... I just didn't have a choice! Pretty soon I found myself boycotting the mail box. Not even wanting to put myself through the disappointment of opening it up to find nothing but junk and bills. Very mature I know....LOL. It really became pathetic. The day I finally decided to get the mail because I didn't want the mailman to be mad at me for no longer getting it.  I for the 1st time wasn't expecting ANYTHING. Isn't that how life works? There it was. My approved home study. I think I cried all the way up the street. I couldn't wait to be a part of the people that were waiting for a referral. I emailed our case worker Cyndi and told her the news. She had no idea how long it would take for us to get a referral but said she would start trying to match us with one.  We had put in for a little girl age 0-3 years old. I had the feeling that I was going to become an expert at checking my email!!!